


17.

by mankoluvr



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Seventeen - Freeform, Underage Drinking, actually more tumours but u get it, but enjoy, but nothing more bc they minors :p, im sorry yall, it’s my first time posting on here, kpop, listen, repost bc only half posted last time, this took me like 2 hours it’s really bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 21:11:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12154887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mankoluvr/pseuds/mankoluvr
Summary: From the moment the boy laid his eyes on Hansol, he thought the boy was attractive. With shaggy hair and the look of a foreigner (Which he later found out was because he was biracial.) Seungkwan liked how he wore vintage clothes that you would expect from a freshman in the 90's. Seungkwan made sure to make fun of him for it instead of telling the truth.(In all reality, Hansol could have quite possibly been one of the most beautiful boys he's ever met, but he doesn't need to know that.)





	17.

**Author's Note:**

> hi！this is my first fic on here so please don’t be ugly about how bad it is.. i’m mostly writing for fun lol :p and yes this gets angsty as fuvk im sorry i just had to do it lmao but anyway hope u ppl enjoy this ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ (also give me constructive criticism please!!)<33

Seungkwan was 15 when his dad and 2 little sisters were taken from him by the hand of a drunk driver.

(He was 16 before he could get into a car again.)

Seungkwan was 17 when his mom decided they needed to rid themselves of the house he and his sisters grew up in because it was too much for her. 

(If we're being honest it was just as hard for Seungkwan but he wouldn't share that with anyone.)

Seungkwan was 17 when he moved to a new neighbourhood in a new city with new people. A fresh start. His mom had seemed happier from the moment she had everything unpacked. It was good. It was what they needed.

Seungkwan was 17 when he got run over by a kid on his bike. He landed on grass but was annoyed nonetheless.

(Can you blame him? There were grass stains on his new jeans!)

The kid that had hit Seungkwan had kept trying to apologize but Seungkwan was too busy analyzing the boy to give a response. He soon found out the kids name was Hansol Vernon Chwe but he preferred Vernon. Seungkwan claimed to “ Not like how Vernon rolled off the tongue”, so he stuck with Hansol. 

From the moment the boy laid his eyes on Hansol, he thought the boy was attractive. With shaggy hair and the look of a foreigner (Which he later found out was because he was biracial.) Seungkwan liked how he wore vintage clothes that you would expect from a freshman in the 90's. Seungkwan made sure to make fun of him for it instead of telling the truth.

(In all reality, Hansol could have quite possibly been one of the most beautiful boys he's ever met, but he doesn't need to know that.)

Seungkwan was 17 when him and Hansol became best friends. He learned that Hansol had a sister named Sophia and that he lived in America for 5 years and that's part of why he knows english so well. He learned that Hansol was very afraid of the future and clowns (but who isn't). He also learned that Hansol loved and singing so when Seungkwan would sleep over at Hansols, face buried in the crook of his neck, Seungkwan would ask him sing an english song to help lull him to sleep (He gladly obliged.) 

Everyone was so surprised at how fast the pair got close; Including them.

Seungkwan was 17 when he and Hansol kissed for the first time. They had decided to get drunk on the rooftop of the old movie theatre (The view was too nice to pass up) The duo sat down in old plastic chairs and watched the stars and talked and drank bad vodka that Hansol stole from his dads alcohol collection. Seungkwan had his head on Hansol's shoulder when he said something Seungkwan couldn't quite pick up, so he looked up and oh. Seungkwan doesn't think he'd ever seen such a beautiful person in his life. The way the moon shone on his face made his heart go funny and his stomach feel like there was a marathon going on some where in there.

Hansol tries again to repeat whatever he had just said but seungkwan was preoccupied then with Hansol's lips and how much he wanted them on his own. Hansol must have realized at some point that Seungkwan was distracted because he waved a hand in front of Seungkwan's face, successfully breaking him out of his trance. Hansol proceeded to ask if he had heard any of what he just said. Seungkwan shakes his head no and looks up at Hansol. They stare at each other for god knows how long before Hansol was cupping Seungkwans face and kissing him and oh. He doesn't think he can feel any better than he does right now.

 

Seungkwan was 17 when Hansol asks him to be his boyfriend. Of course he says yes and pecks his lips (Which was now his new self proclaimed hobby) and for the first time in a very long time Seungkwan felt happy. 

Seungkwan was 17 when he realized he loved Hansol. They were at a park watching the sun set at they were seeing who could swing the highest on the swings (Y'all seen Seungkwans thighs? We all know who won.) After the rigorous competition they climbed atop the monkey bar and Hansol told stories about the time he had spent living in New York. (He's heard them all before but seeing Hansol so happy and focused on remembering small details is a gift that should not be taken for granted or squandered. At least that's was seungkwan thinks.) He realizes as the sun is setting behind his boyfriends head which makes him look nothing short of ethereal, that he is completely, utterly, head over heels in love with Hansol. He wonders if Hansol feels the same.

(Hansol does.)

Seungkwan is 17 when he spends the first Christmas in a new home with Hansol. They baked cookies, decorated the tree, and got the pleasure of wearing Seungkwan’s grandmothers “beautiful” knit Christmas sweaters. At the end of Christmas day, the couple exchanged gifts. (Hansol got them matching rings that Seungkwan cried when he saw) and Seungkwan was totally abusing his power of the mistletoe app on his phone - not that either of them minded; at all. Seungkwan thinks he'll never be this happy again.

(and he was right.)

Seungkwan is 17 when things started to go wrong. It was winter time, January . Only a short time before Seungkwans birthday. Hansol was already making plans because he knew that last years birthday was probably not very happy for Seungkwan at all and he doesn't want such a bad memory to be forever in the love of his life’s mind. During all of this Seungkwan notices something, Hansol gets spaced out easier and he always complained about a pounding head. Seungkwan thought nothing of it because their midterms were coming up and its a stressful time but, it finally catches up to him when he collapses in the middle of school and ends up in hospital. 

Seungkwan waited for 6 hours in that hospital lobby. Too worried to eat or sleep or do anything but worry for that matter. He couldn’t. Not until he knew his Hansol was okay.

Seungkwan was 17 when he found out that Hansol had a tumour in his brain, Not only that but it had been there for a very long time. A fucking brain tumour. the love of his life has a huge fucking tumour win his brain. Seungkwan almost passed out when he found out, but Hansol was calm. Seungkwan tried to beat Hansol up for not telling him at first but he couldn’t see through the tears. Hansol was very level headed and calmed him down.Hansol told him chemo would help and they would start very soon and he promised he wasn't going to miss Seungkwan's birthday no matter what. Seungkwan wouldn't leave the hospital room. 

(Hansol didn't mind) 

After the first couple rounds of chemo vernon already looked sickly. His skin once a beautiful tan colour, now paled and mottled. his beautiful rosy lips that Seungkwan adored were white and cracked, but Hansol trucked on; assuring his lover that he was going to beat this and when he does they can get married. Seungkwan liked that idea a lot. 

It was January 15th. The day before Seungkwan's 18th birthday and a particularly hard day for Hansol. He couldn't sleep or eat due to nausea and his head was bothering him more than usual. Seungkwan hated it. He wanted to scream. To yell at god or someone for doing this to the boy he loves, but he keeps it in for Hansol.

That night Hansol gives Seungkwan his birthday present. Its a ring with Vernons initials and birthdate etched on it (He has a matching one) Through tears Seungkwan tells him to stop buying such expensive rings but Hansol doesn't listen and smiles a radiant smile that Seungkwan had missed so dearly. 

Later on Seungkwan was sitting on a chair beside the bed holding Hansol's hand and playing with his ring absentmindedly when Hansol murmurs something under his breath. Seungkwan asks for him to repeat it, so he does. In a scratchy voice he hears his lover say:

"You have been and always will be the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you more than you could ever know, and i'm happy you are in my life- even for such a short time".

Seungkwan is in tears as he tells Hansol he feels the same, holding his hand just a bit tighter. 

Hansol warns Seungkwan as best he can that it's 10 minutes to his birthday and that he told him that he would last until then. Seungkwan laughs and kisses him proudly. They go silent again for a little, the beeping on the heart monitor all that can be heard throughout the room. It's nice. Seungkwan wants it to stay like this forever, he needs it to. 

Now Seungkwan may not have a 4.0gpa but he’s not stupid. Seungkwan knows that when the heart monitor starts going fast it's never good, and he also knows that when 6 nurses come in and start poking at prodding at his boyfriend while yelling out words too hard to comprehend, that it's not good either. 

It happened too fast. The nurse pulling Seungkwan by his arm to the lobby as he cried out to know what was happening. Nobody answered him. He sat in the lobby shaking with fat tears streaming down his face. Not yet. He thought. He promised.

Seungkwan was 18 when the love of his life finally let go. 12:03am on january 16th he heard the long shrill sound of the heart monitor ring across the empty lobby. He knew what that meant. Hansol was dead. His boyfriend. The love of his life. Dead. Gone. He was disgusted by the thought. So disgusted he went to the nearest bathroom, not caring if it was ladies or not and threw up. He couldn't accept it. It was too much. He wanted Hansol back so bad it hurt. 

The funeral was beautiful. It was so nice outside although it was cold. Hansol liked the cold. He said he like the way Seungkwan got all red because of it. Seungkwan hoped he would have liked the service, he tried so hard to make it perfect because that's what his love deserved. Only close family and friends were invited. It was the first time Seungkwan met his distant family. They were all such nice people, he liked them. 

Seungkwan did a speech about Hansol. He talked about how he got to the neighbourhood, how he met Hansol, Their story. Seungkwan couldn't finish the speech.

 

Seungkwan was 23 as he walked down a snowy pathway, and stopping at a certain grave to put flowers down "Here lies Hansol Vernon Chwe" he read. It had been 6 years and Seungkwan had moved, graduated, and got a nice job in accounting. He hasn't dated since Hansol. Why bother when nobody can compare to the masterpiece that was - still is his first love. He never fails to visit the grave on his birthday every year. At first it was hard, he wanted his love back so bad he never left the gravesite but eventually his wounds healed (almost) and he stopped going as frequently. 

As Seungkwan looked at the headstone, he thought about all the memories he made with his one and only when they were only 17. 

17.

He wants nothing more to go back. To thank Hansol properly for everything he's done for him, to tell him he actually loved his send of style and the way he wore his clothes with such confidence. However , to Seungkwan’s despair, life isn't a sci fi movie and time travel isn't real so he's left to sit in the snow, unbothered by the cold or the fact that his pants were getting wet, wishing that if he closes his eyes for just a second, he can go back to when life was good, when they were 17.


End file.
